Hay, I'm Eafu.
You must be logged in to comment on this post.
Sea slugs are scum sucking invertebrae. Land slugs are slimy mollusc-brained cabbage eaters. But you are nothing. You are the human equivalent of a broken lava-lamp. Repulsive, doesn't work, 30 years behind the times, and full of oily slime. Your breathtaking arrogance is only matched by your uncanny ability to be utterly clueless as to what other people think about you. And make no mistake, they think about you. Constantly. Your actions are as opportunistic and as repulsive as maggots. Your disgusting loathsome habits clearly know no bounds. Your mere existence has for me offered proof there is no God, no hope, no justice and the most miserable future for humankind. I have seen you walking along a footpath, one of your horribly fascinating activities. You count the cement squares don't you. You even on occasion try and avoid standing on the cracks. How can someone so stupid still remember to breathe? Or are you an automaton sent by an evil foreign, or alien, power, to destroy civilisation as we know it? All this, perhaps, would not be so damningly despairing were it not for the fact that I know what you do after you have picked your nose. Perhaps the less said the better, as other people, who still might have hope, could someday read this inadvertently. You snot-snivelled slimed sluptitious stool. Do you not have any reckoning of the ugliness you have wrought on the world? I have seen more convivial things than you wrapped up in newspaper in overfull bins at the fishmarkets. I have tried, but clearly, I have failed. I must stand firm to the realisation that mere words cannot express my utmost and profound contempt and loathing for your person, your being and your existence. You are a blight against nature. This is something that I have grown to despise quite malevolently. Your bigoted words, and your damnable actions make me sick to my stomach. I find it comedic that you are spouting this crap here, and I find it sickening that younger children might see this... There is a good saying that I am thinking of, "If you don't have something nice to say, then don't say anything at all!" Otherwise, I rather felt like that I needed to put in my two cents here. Oh, and I find it funny that you comeback with very crappy insults. You sir are a stupid dumbshit who doesn't deserve a dick. Unless you are a girl then you don't desrve your pussy. Please go replace your pancreas with a bowling ball and skydive into into man-eating animal infested waters wherin you survive without a dick without a sphincter without an ear or even your nutsack or thread a needle with a string dipper in saltwater through your balls then put the same exact string in your eyeball where it will mold and cause you to go blind. So then you will need a seeing eyedog named butch who will chew on your infected nutsack every day for the rest of your life. Then he will die xausing you to cry out of your blind eyes and you will be left helpless crying for your dead ball chewing dog in the street while you are mowed down by a guy in a powder blue prius and live in pain for exacly 666 minutes before you die finally exiling you to hell. THEN (no i am NOT done) satan's minions will chew out your kidneys and stuff them in your ass that doesn't have a sphincter then when you talk you will sound like al kheida and be pelted with rocks everywhere you go until you are hated enough to be let into the tenth chamber of hell where your immortal soul will burn for tens of hundreds of thousands of centuries without any shit breaks until you fucking explode and guts go everywhere and your wife (who is not missing you at all cause shes fucking your cousin steve) gets hit with your gay ass bowling ball pancreas and then your soul goes to super hell where they convert you to a cat fucking atheast with no liver and then they will torture you with your dead dog butch's soul and he will chew the remaing peices of your infected nutsack off untill he is forced to chew off his own infected nutsack and shove it down your throat so you choke and die again and go to supra hell (hell worse that super hell) and have your nuts replaced with hitlers nuts and then they send you back up to earth where you find a sign sticking out of your head that says i have hitlers nuts! and then when people read it they wil get their dogs to chew out your new balls and rip off your face and then you die and go to butch hell and 100000000000000000000 butch clones chew your balls for ever and ever and ever! Eventually one of the clones will eat your last bit of nutsack off and you will be crying from so much pain that they kick you out of Butch hell and send you back to Earth where you are forced live in an apartment with over 9000 gay people in New Jersey untill Richard Simmons breaks in your house through your toilet and forces you to do hours and hours of dancing to the oldies. And just when you think it's all over, Carrot Top comes over to do some prop comedy for you. Then, after breaking your leg, a giant koala bear breaks in through your window and chews the other off. Then you, laying there, legless Pedobear breaks in through your shower and pokes a hole in your cheek which he sticks his wang in until there's a huge meteor shower which rips through your body, and leaves you alive to feel nothing but pain and suffering. All other human beings are dead but yourself, and you can't move. Your only food comes from the occasional cockroach that climbs in through a hole in your cheek (that Pedobear made from poking you so much) and walks down close enough to your throat so you can swallow and the cum you got from Pedobear raping you. Then 30 years later, bunch of ass robot-pirate-bears come for you and start poking even more holes in your body 'till you bleed to death and go back to Butch hell where you belong.
Thanks for the story, man!
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air
In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground is where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'
I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suite case and send me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.
First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say this cab is rare
But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'
I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air
newgrounds.com — Your #1 online entertainment & artist community! All your base are belong to us.